I'll start this out by saying I am notoriously bad at describing my dreams, but I the dream I had last night was just so bizarre that I need to sort through it and try to see what I can remember. That's the main problem with my dream recall, I think - after I get up, my memories of my dream fade quickly, and the ways that the different themes flew together at night seamlessly suddenly seem to make no sense at all. Normally I forget my dream pretty soon into the day, but this one has lasted since 6:30, so let's see what I can piece together. I apologize in advance if this makes absolutely no sense.
The first thing to keep in mind is that this is a sort of Inception level dream within dreams type deal; the second thing is to realize that I believed I was awake the entire time, unable to sleep and dreading the fact that I had to be up early in the morning.
The deepest level I can remember consisted of a few different scenes or adventures, let's say - I don't recall exactly how many different ones there were, but I can remember glimpses from two or three. The most memorable one: I was at a house on a lake, and the owner of the house had a pet dog - except that I was apparently the only one who could see that it wasn't a dog, it was actually a wolf. I got really uncomfortable every time it was around me, fearing that it would give in to primal urges and bite me. I'm being very vague and don't recall any details, but I know at some point I looked out to the water and the dog/wolf was tearing at this carcass, fighting over it with a bear through a white picket fence. After a struggle, the bear tore away what appeared to be a rotting alligator carcass and took off. Without any food to fight over and still obviously hungry, the wolf whipped around and stared me down - then it sprinted towards me and started attacking me. Just as I felt a sharp pain in my face, I "woke up" with a fright to find myself in the bathroom spitting out a strange white substance that was coming out in solid white pieces. Keep in mind, this was also a dream...I was not in fact awake in the bathroom, I was fast asleep in bed.
From there, it seemed to go back into the deeper dream level. I don't remember almost any details of the other adventures, and I don't know how many there were in total. There was one scene where I was riding in the back seat down a crowded highway, another where I was waiting backstage with other Ambassadors in Brooks or Tillman, maybe even more. But every single one ended with me stirring awake in a fright, spitting out strange solid white pieces. By the last adventure, I had begun to spit out whole pieces of a white rotating fan - first the solid dial and then the propeller started to come out. Always with this sharp pain in the roof of my mouth, I suddenly realized that I had spit out an entire fan. I looked up to the bathroom mirror for the first time, and although I could feel the sharp pain as I opened my mouth as wide as I can, when I looked in the mirror I found that my mouth was hardly open at all. It felt wide open, but the mirror said otherwise. I used my hands to prop my mouth open, which made a disgusting sound, and the rest of the entire propeller came out relatively easy as opposed to the last night full of struggle starting bit by bit. Relieved that I had finally got this out of my body, I sat perplexed and confused - how exactly did this just happen, what did I do to somehow consume an entire fan, when did I do that and why did I have no recollection of it? As I was sitting on the bathroom floor contemplating these issues, I "woke up" again.
At this point - let's call it level 1 with level 2 being the bathroom and Level 3 being the various adventures (which I keep getting glimpses of different ones without any tangible way to describe them once I try...maybe they're just an intangible figment of my imagination?) - I was relieved to find that I had just woken up and realized how preposterous it was to have that dream that I was painfully spitting up a fan piece by piece. However, I worried because it seemed like I had been lying in my bed forever, and I really needed to get some sleep. I didn't know how long I had been lying awake, but it seemed as if it had been nearly the entire night.
Just like that, my alarm went off for real, and I awoke in my Thornhill bedroom for real - Level 0 if you will, actual life. I hopped out of bed and realized the complete complexity of my dream levels. After having thought that I was waking up over and over again at night, I realized that I had been asleep the entire night. I guess I had rationalized in my dreamworld that I had been in so much pain in the bathroom that I would blackout and have a dream, but always come back to the same world - Level 2 - and continue to struggle to spit up those strange white pieces. Then I came to the conclusion that lying in my bed - Level 1 - that of course that was a dream, nothing like that could ever happen, and I just needed to fall asleep again for real and get some rest. By the time I actually awoke, I was just confounded at the whole concept.
I'm sure a Freudian psychologist could have an absolute field day with this dream. I know spitting out teeth is a sign of insecurity or lack of power, but what about spitting out a mystery substance that resembles teeth, but you know isn't your teeth? What of all the individual adventures, must of which my now conscious mind can no longer recall? What does it mean to have a complex dream like that with so much continuity - always coming back to the same gathering point, and then dreaming that you're awake when you've really been fast asleep throughout the dream sequence the entire time? The only thing that has ever happened to me that I can remotely compare it to is a dream ages ago, when we still lived in Perkasie. I had dreamed (stupid and simple as this is) that my feet were much bigger...I guess they had grown to inconceivable size. Then, still part of the dream, I dreamed that I had woken up, checked under the covers, and my feet actually were bigger. Needless to say, when I woke up for real, the first thing I did was check my feet under the covers, and they were normal size - but it still freaked me out to have just one level of continuity. After such a complex and confusing dream, I'm not quite sure what to think - maybe it speaks loads about my current mental state, maybe it means nothing at all. Just some rambling to get my thoughts in order, that probably makes absolutely no sense to anyone except me for experiencing it.